WHAT IS SEX THERAPY?

Sex therapy means different things to different people. So we asked a panel of sex therapists to give us their definition, interpretation, and approach to sex therapy. Who needs sex therapy? What problems does it solve? Here are their responses.

"Sex therapy" usually refers to talk therapy - that is, a place to talk about sexual problems and how to overcome them. It's not a practicum. There is no touching or sexual behavior involved in the session itself.

Sex therapy is most often conducted in the context of couple therapy, if the person with the sexual problem is in a committed relationship. Even if the sexual problem is caused by a medical condition, such as diabetes, the person can learn to manage and even overcome the problem with the help of his or her partner. Also, the partner may need help coping with the impact of the problem on him/her.

Sex therapy will often include discussion of non-sexual issues. Many times a sexual symptom may be caused or made worse by couple conflicts which need to be addressed. Also, individual problems may need to be resolved, such as learning to overcome feelings of guilt or anxiety about sex, or dealing with the effects of childhood sexual abuse.

To me, one of the most important parts of sex therapy is the "homework." I will almost always give an individual or couple something to do at home - from keeping a journal to trying out a new kind of touching or watching an educational video.

Emily Kahn-Freedman, M.S.Ed., L.M.F.T., Drexel Hill, PA, ekahnfreedman@gmail.com

As I meet people with sexual frustrations, the first meeting for sex therapy will help to define the problem we are planning to solve. The words the clients use to label and define their situation are very useful. For example, a woman with low desire may say that she is there 'to be fixed', to reduce her partner's frustration. I try not to assume that the problem is hers alone, or even that it is unusual to be disinterested in sex. I question whether her sexual experience is enjoyable to her and how? I want to know what she is thinking and feeling and doing, sexually. Is she orgasmic? Only 30-40% of women regularly orgasm with their partners. It will be useful to ask about her partner's response to her lack of desire, and how her partner contributes to her experience. As the client's history is unfolding, I am wondering what steps have already been taken to solve the problem. At this point, I often find myself reframing the problem as a developmental challenge. What is their idea of good sexual experience? How does the client want to grow? Many people I meet have a lack of sexual self confidence as well as overall self esteem. They are too often looking to have their worth validated by their partner. I see it as normal to have sexual dissatisfaction in our culture, since well more than more than 50% of couples have sexual problems at some point.

Sex therapy is an opportunity to grow sexually, to develop sexual intelligence. Clients come to sex therapy to solve problems, but many men and women stay a little longer when they catch the spirit of reaching toward the fulfillment of their sexual potentials.

Karen Brash McGreer, RN, MFT, Medford, NJ, kbmcgreer@comcast.net
www.IntentionalMarriage.com

As a sexologist I work toward the creation and facilitation of a safe, comfortable and relaxed, environment to promote individual and collective responsibility for a better and more informed understanding of sex and sexuality with regard to understanding human sexuality and its problems. Working within a gendered, class, race and culturally diverse approach, I work to reduce and negotiate the existence of power dynamics, while promoting a safe and comfortable space to assist in sexological psychotherapeutic analysis and intervention. The creation of a safe, comfortable and non-judgmental environment allows me/us to then evaluate, assess, treat and make recommendations with regard to emotional and interpersonal concerns/problems, sexual dysfunction, sexual confusion, behavioural problems, sexual identity and sexual orientation issues. This can be done individually, in couples or groups/families.

Therapeutic approaches employed are Existential, Cognitive Behavioural, and Systemic Approaches. The combination of these three approaches allows me/us to begin a healthy discussion with the client/patient/individual/user to allow for a full sexological intervention, assessment, analysis and above all a healthy & happy beginning.

Benoit St.Jean - Sexologist Psychotherapist (MA), Montreal, QC, benoitstjean@3web.com

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