9 WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR SEX LIFE
by Dr. Sonia Borg

Make Sexuality a Priority
Our sexuality is as much a part of health and well being as eating and exercise. Make time for your sexuality.

Celebrate Your Sexuality
The major reason people come to see a sexologist is because they feel shameful or guilty. Sex is energy. Let go of shameful and guilty thoughts or behaviors that keep you from expressing yourself.

Keep a Sex Journal
Identify your sexual outlets and patterns. Notice who or what got you sexually excited. How many times did you think about sex? How many times did you masturbate that day. How did you masturbate? How long did you masturbate? What sensations did you notice in your body and your mind during, before and after the act? What do you want to try?

Masturbation
Most people who masturbate also rate a higher sexual satisfaction. Not only is it safe and fun, it allows for self-exploration. If you know what you like/dislike, you can better communicate to someone else.

Be a Dreamer
Most of our sexuality is in our mind. We can be, do and have whoever we want in our fantasies. Some of the most outrageous experiences all started with a dream. Some people use fantasies as a safe place to practice and experiment for the “real thing”, while others are happy keeping it as a fantasy and nothing more. Either way, it is a very healthy practice.

Take a Sexual Inventory
Take out a piece of paper, date it and list all the sexual acts and adventures you have done or heard about. Then, write “yes, no, or maybe” next to each of them. Most people haven’t given thought to their sexual boundaries and opportunities. It’s also useful in opening the doors for communication and determining sexual compatibility with another person.

Ask for What You Want
We should be able to ask for what we want sexually with the same ease we ask someone to pass the salt. Asking for what we want helps us get our needs met AND get consent. Don’t get discouraged. It’s a lifelong practice.

Engage in Pleasure Daily
The more we seek pleasure, the more we are able to recognize, appreciate, and ultimately realize that life IS pleasure. Sex is pleasure.

Hire a Sex Coach
Everyone should have a sex coach. My coaching is a process that allows the client to set and achieve their own desired goals and outcomes. Using a talk model, I listen without judgment and offer tools that will help you be successful and always with integrity.

Dr. Sonia Borg's background is in the art and skill of communication. She has coached over a thousand people to increase self-awareness, overcome their fears, and be better communicators. Her interest in studying sex began when she noticed how difficult it was to talk openly and honestly about sex. This lead to her studies at the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco. Her research studying erotic dancers taught her about female empowerment, self-expression, and fantasy as being important to our sexual selves. She is a contributing author and editor to the book “Erotic Moves.” She earned her Ph.D. in Human Sexuality and is now a sex coach in San Diego. soniaborg@yahoo.com, www.soniaborg.com, www.sophiastreasures.com.

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