I was recently in a 10 year relationship. After about 2 years, I had trouble with keeping an erection at the onset of intercourse. She understandably would get angry and I think that since the first time she got angry, I have performance anxiety. I try to relax and want to have sex with her but too often I fail to keep an erection. I went to my doctor and his question to me was, "Do I love my partner?". I do love her, I said. I tried Viagra, Levitra, and herbs without success. She thinks it's in my head and so do I. I have morning erections. And recently, I had erections before trying intercourse with her 3 times (days consecutively using Levitra), but each time, my penis went limp at the onset of intercourse. Now, my relationship is over. I'm afraid that this will continue to happen. Do you have any advice?

Since you awaken with morning erections and Viagra works initially, it does sound more psychological in nature. Many women would NOT have gotten 'understandably' angry and would have tried to be more of the solution than the problem. I'm so sorry she wasn't more supportive. You sound like you are suffering from performance anxiety brought on by a critical mate. I would suggest that with the next woman you go very slowly but still continue to use the Viagra for psychological confidence if nothing else. Choose a more patient, loving partner and slowly work up to penetration. If you feel very close to her, explore your former difficulties and ask for her understanding help. At each attempt only thrust a time or two until you can work up to ejaculation. With the right woman this problem will most likely resolve.  - Answer provided by Dr. Shay Roop, RN, LMHC, Ed.D, Clinical Hypnotherapist, Board Certified by the American Board of Sexology, shay@drshay.org, www.drshay.org.

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