I am embarrassed to post a question here, however, I am wanting some help. I am a guy who is into wearing panties and wearing women's clothes in my own privacy. Am I normal in doing this? I wear panties under my male clothes daily. I am wanting to meet someone to dress me up fully and be intimate with. I would like to speak with a therapist to determine why this is so with me and for me to understand my inner self. Can you help? I feel this is the tip of the iceberg to get things started.

There are several ways of looking at your situation. The first of these is that whatever sexual activities you perform in private or with a consenting adult partner is up to you, as long as you are not harming yourself, your partner, or others. Another way of construing your situation might be that your "love map" (the biological and psychological template which guides your sexual desires and choices of partners) is "paraphilic" (non standard, or unusual) as opposed to normaphilic (standard, usual). There are a number of "erotic minorities" (BD/SM; fetishes, etc.) and a number of tastes and preferred ways of fulfilling one's erotic desires. I think the benchmark I would offer you is: "Does your behavior or desires constitute a problem for you or important others?" If so, you might want to consult a therapist. You can get a list of knowledgeable therapists from this site or www.aasect.org to help you sort it out. In no event is self-rejection, shame, or guilt a skilful place for you to be. Find a way to hold yourself mercifully and compassionately in this place and know that thousands share your erotic preferences. - Answer provided by Ron Feintech, Phd, Sex Therapy Diplomate, AASECT, rfeintech@conversent.net.

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