I have a 14-year old son and want to talk to him about sex, protection, masturbation, etc. Yet anytime I bring up the subject, he closes me out and doesn't want to talk about it. Can you give me any tips on how to talk to my teenager about sex?

First I want to acknowledge you for trying to talk to your 14-year old about sex. Many parents are uncomfortable with this subject and just don’t talk about it. Don’t be discouraged by your son’s attempts to end your conversation. It is not uncommon for teenagers to act embarrassed and uninterested in their parents’ efforts to have sexual discussions. One thing you may want to try is to talk less and listen more. Ask questions about his friends. Let him know that you’re genuinely interested and then listen when he responds. Eventually move toward asking questions about his feelings on a variety of issues and make sure you listen when he responds. Sometimes the best place to have these conversations is in the car. - Answer provided by Jason S. Quintal, MSW, LCSW, DrJ@RelationshipSpecialties.com, www.RelationshipSpecialties.com.

Getting someone to listen when they are not open is quite difficult. The first step is to get him open and listening. I would suggest that you begin by talking about something that he is interested in. Once you establish a communication with him, switching to sex will not be as abrupt. Make the transition slow and stay listening to him and what he is trying to tell you. At some point this is a topic that he has no choice about, he needs to hear what you have to say. You need to hear what he has to say. You will lose him if you "get" him into the conversation and then if the conversation at all becomes punishing. - Answer provided by Michael Gonzales, Ph.D., mfgonzal@speakeasy.net, www.upasoc.com.

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