I can only orgasm on my stomach with the help of a vibrator. I have NEVER had an orgasm with a man. I would walk to the end of the earth to be able to do this. Where can I get the best help. I would be willing to travel to meet with the right person.

Dear “ends of the earth”. The good news is that you are able to have an orgasm! This is a sign that your body can respond to sexual stimulation and you can “let go” enough to have an orgasm. The challenge of having an orgasm with a partner is most often about feeling relaxed and safe enough to stay focused on the sensations in your body, to enjoy them, and eventually reach an orgasm. This task is something you can learn to do. There are some very good books on the market, one being Becoming Orgasmic that can help. You might prefer working with a qualified sex therapist who can help you learn how to become orgasmic with a partner. Ideally, it would be best if you have a person you are sexually active with and this person is willing to attend the sessions with you. During the sessions you would have a chance to talk openly about your sexual relationship and begin to explore the feelings and thoughts that may be inhibiting your ability to orgasm with your partner. Then the therapist would ask you and your partner to do some “homework” as a way to overcome the issue. - Answer provided by Alan L. Marcus, Ph.D., AASECT Certified, drmarcus@tmo.blackberry.net, www.gpatherapy.com.

Since you can have an orgasm in one position with a vibrator, that rules out any organic problems and that's good. All your hormones are in working order and your body already knows how to do this!

Having an orgasm with a man is more difficult if you want to have one while he is inside you because of the anatomy of the female. While there is penile vaginal penetration going on, the clitoris (the organ of orgasm in most women) gets very little friction. One position that works to give the clitoris the most friction is this one:

Have the man lie on two pillows from his head to buttocks with one additional pillow under his head to lift it higher than his body. If you straddle him and while he is inside you, place a small vibrator wedged between your clitoris and his pelvic bone. Lean forward placing your hands on the pillows behind him to get the most friction on the clitoris. The added benefit to this position is his hands are free to touch your breasts, you can kiss, and you can move around to get the needed friction in just the right spot. Using the vibrator is good in this case since you are used to it and sometimes the nerves that sense vibration are more sensitive than the nerves that feel light touch. - Answer provided by Dr. Shay Roop, RN, LMHC, Ed.D, Clinical Hypnotherapist, Board Certified by the American Board of Sexology, shay@drshay.org, www.drshay.org.

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