Help! I'm a 50 year old male. I was widowed about 1 1/2yrs ago. I am now seeing a terrific girl who is doing wonders for me. Our problem is sexual frequency. We may see each other on weekends. During this time we would probably make love at least 4 times. If, on the fifth attempt, I am unable to sustain an erection or have an orgasm, she thinks something is wrong or I don't find her sexy enough. This woman has given me 4 orgasms in one night but was upset that she couldn't arouse me to a fifth!!!! Four in one night was pretty dang good when I was 24 years old. I can't convince her that 4 orgasms in one night for a 50 year old man is pure proof that I find her to be extremely sexy, desirable and yummy as all. HELP!

It is important to remember that one can be sexual fulfilled without sexual intercourse. Talk to your partner about how wonderful she is and how wonderful she makes you feel. If you are not able to sustain an erection or have an orgasm, continue to engage her. Make sure she is sexually satisfied. Use manual or oral stimulation. Communicate with her and continue to express how wonderful you think she is. She just wants you to be satisfied. Let her know you are. - Answer provided by Jason S. Quintal, MSW, LCSW, DrJ@RelationshipSpecialties.com, www.RelationshipSpecialties.com.

Tough issue. You are being sexual and it sounds as though overall it is pretty satisfying. Four orgasms in one night is pretty amazing even for a 30 year old, and you are 50. The only thing that I can recommend is that you get her some reading that she would believe in and trust. There are many books and articles. Just find several and ask her to read them. It is important that you do not give her something to read at the expense of your talking. It is important that you talk with her, that you share with her how amazing sex is. Perhaps you can read whatever you find, together. - Answer provided by Michael Gonzales, Ph.D., mfgonzal@speakeasy.net, www.upasoc.com.

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