When having anal sex, it is OK if my fiancé ejaculates? Are there diseases or other problems to be aware of?

You need to be absolutely certain that your fiancé is and has been monogamous and is free of HIV, as this activity could place you at risk if he is not. A condom is a good idea if there is any uncertainty, to prevent a urethral infection on his part. Be aware however, that a condom is more likely to tear from anal entry than otherwise and anal intercourse is a "high risk" activity from the standpoint of transmission of HIV. There should be ample anal "foreplay" and massage prior to entry if the experience is to be not painful. Risks including tearing of anal or rectal tissue if not done carefully, transmission of fecal bacteria to the vagina, and the possibility of weakening of the anal sphincter with subsequent "leakage" of fecal material. The latter is more likely if anal foreplay or lubrication is inadequate, if the intercourse is too rough, if "fisting" or other large anal insertion happens. The anus is rich in nerve endings and anal play can be pleasurable, but only if both parties are fully on board and if done carefully and sensitively. - Answer provided by Ron Feintech, PhD, Sex Therapy Diplomate, AASECT, rfeintech@conversent.net.

This is a great and important question. Anal sex is by far the most risky sexual behavior because viruses can be passed very easily via this behavior. If, however, neither of you has a virus then the behavior is reasonably safe. - Answer provided by Michael Gonzales, Ph.D., mfgonzal@speakeasy.net, www.upasoc.com.

I am assuming that you are referring to having anal intercourse without your fiancé wearing a condom. When having anal intercourse, the anus must expand to accommodate the penetrating penis. Sometimes, in expanding, small, microscopic lesions, or cuts, become apparent on the anus and rectum. If your partner has any sexually transmitted diseases or viral infections, he could transmit them to you through such lesions. If he is disease free himself, having him ejaculate inside you is relatively harmless. Any semen that your body does not absorb will be eventually released. Keep in mind, however, that while having unprotected anal sex may not harm you, doing so could be dangerous for your fiancé. The rectum is covered with fecal matter, and the risk of the bacteria from this matter entering the penis is great. Once inside the penis, it could make its way through the urethra and into the bladder, causing an infection. If untreated, it could cause deeper concerns like liver problems. Therefore, continue enjoying anal sex, but be cautious - use a condom. - Answer provided by Faizal Sahukhan, Ph.D., A.C.S., R.P.C., AASECT, drfaizal@multiculturalromance.com, www.multiculturalromance.com.

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