I want to go on birth control but I don't know how to get it without my mother finding out. What can I do?

Every state has it's own laws on "age on consent." You need to find out what yours is. At the same time getting parents involved is a good thing. I know that it is often awkward at first and that a lot of parents simply do not what to hear about their daughter being sexual. It is still worth getting her/them involved. - Answer provided by Michael Gonzales, Ph.D., mfgonzal@speakeasy.net, www.upasoc.com.

You have a few of options. One is to use condoms as your method of birth control -- they do not require a prescription and are relatively inexpensive. Plus, they have the added bonus of protecting you against STDs. If you want to be on birth control pills, you need to visit a health care provider. Depending on how old you are, you are entitled to a private and confidential visit from your doctor. This means that anything that you talk about with your doctor stays behind closed doors and your mother will never know -- so ask your doctor if your visit will be private and confidential before you begin your conversation. However, you would still have to pay for your prescriptions -- you could find out from your doctor what sort of health insurance you have (if any) and get help determining whether birth control pills are covered. If they are, you would only have to pay a co-pay ($10-$20 a month); otherwise, the cost could be higher. You could also contact the Planned Parenthood nearest you. They have health care providers there who can prescribe birth control and oftentimes there is a sliding scale as to the cost of them. Go to www.teenwire.com to find the Planned Parenthood in your area. It also might be possible to get on birth control for a reason other than having sex. Acne and bad cramps are two reasons that people go on birth control even if they are not sexually active. Maybe you can get it that way by talking to your mother and doctor. Finally, you might want to consider talking to your mother about this honestly. I obviously do not know you or your mother, or your situation, but take the time to really think about how she would react to you talking to her maturely about wanting to go on birth control. Having sex responsibly shows that you are thinking about your health and future. It's possible that the two of you can have a good discussion about this if you are able to express how you came to the decision to be sexually active and why you feel it is important to protect yourself against an unwanted pregnancy. Good luck! - Answer provided by L. Kris Gowen, PhD, EdM, drlkg@yahoo.com.

In general, parental permission is not needed for birth control, however, there may be certain locations where, for one reason or another, the provider will require parental permission. Confidentiality is up to the provider. Planned Parenthood health centers are committed to providing services that are confidential and affordable, especially for teens, which may face special family and financial circumstances. To find a Planned Parenthood health center near you, call 1-800-230-PLAN. In addition, I understand it's not always easy to talk with parents about sex. Sometimes the scariest part is beginning the conversation. Once the topic is brought up, both you and your mother might find it easier to talk about sexual topics in the future. If you can, I encourage you to talk with your mom. - Answer provided by Jason S. Quintal, Ph.D., MSW, LCSW, DrJ@RelationshipSpecialties.com, www.RelationshipSpecialties.com.

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