I have been sexually active for two years now and I have never had an orgasm during sex. I have only had external orgasms, when I touched on the "outside". I hate faking orgasms, it makes me feel awful. I was wondering if there is ever any medication prescribed for this? Maybe medicine to make my inside sensitive.

If it makes you feel any better, most women in numerous surveys report not having orgasms during typical sexual intercourse. External stimulation of the clitoral regions seems important in your case. This can be accomplished manually or with the use of a small vibrator. You may want to experiment with the "female on top" position. It allows you to have better control of angle of penetration and may increase stimulation of your clitoris. Another option would be "my turn/your turn" sex whereby you are stimulated orally or manually or with a vibrator until you have an orgasm. Then it's your partner's turn. Good success to you. Take it easy, avoid pressure and any form of performance anxiety. Relax and enjoy whatever.
- Answer provided by Tim Britton, Ph.D., AASECT, ABS, timbritton@yahoo.com.

When you talk about "having sex", I'm assuming you mean intercourse. First of all, please allow me to give you some background history/knowledge about your issue. In the sixties, sex researchers, Masters and Johnson, concluded that only 1/3 or 30% of females ever climax while having intercourse. This is so because the main "part" of a woman's genitalia which, when stimulated, leads to orgasm, is the clitoris. During coitis, however, because of the angle of the penis entering the vagina, there is not much, if any, tactile stimulation on the clitoris. Hence, most women can not achieve orgasm by intercourse alone. One "solution" is to masturbate while your partner is having intercourse with you. This stigma of "internal" versus "external" orgasms began in the 1930s with Sigmund Freud, considered the father of psychoanalysis. According to him, women who experienced a vaginal orgasm were "mature", while those who experienced a clitoral orgasm were "immature". This "theory", albeit now outdated and unaccepted, pathologised women; it made those women who could not climax through intercourse feel inadequate and inferior to those who could. Next...you "faking " orgasms is not such a good idea since by doing so your partner probably feels that whatever he is doing is adequate to bring you to what he considers is orgasm. He needs to be educated about your body and what your needs are for you to climax. In sum, don't be concerned about "where" your orgasms are coming (mind the pun) from; luxuriate in the fact that you are having them. - Answer provided by Faizal Sahukhan, Ph.D., A.C.S., R.P.C., AASECT, drfaizal@multiculturalromance.com, www.multiculturalromance.com.

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