I have looked everywhere to find the answer to this question. I have seen a psychotherapist that didn't help, read many books, but I cannot seem to get up the confidence to have an orgasm with my boyfriend. I enjoy sex. I can masturbate and have an orgasm. But I cannot have one with my boyfriend. This is a problem that I have had with every man I have slept with but it has never bothered me until now. Me and my boyfriend have a wonderful sexual relationship. He tries very hard to help me. He has even read the books with me but still nothing. I have even tried to masturbate with him in the room and let him touch me but nothing. I have even put a pillow over my head and let him touch me and still. The last time we tried that he started to touch me and as soon as he stopped and I didn't feel him anymore I was able to have an orgasm. I don't know what the problem may be. I can walk around him naked and I get aroused with him. But I can never get to that point. I know this is a psychological issue I have about some insecurities. But I am not sure about what they might be. Can anyone help?

What you are experiencing is common for many women. In fact, the majority of women are unable to have an orgasm through intercourse. Only about 30% of women can have an intercourse through intercourse alone. I suggest you and your boyfriend take the focus off of having an orgasm. Focus instead on what feels good. Incorporate manual/oral stimulation during intercourse. You may also want to use a vibrator during intercourse. Remember it is not uncommon not to be able to have an orgasm through intercourse. - Answer provided by Jason S. Quintal, Ph.D., MSW, LCSW, DrJ@RelationshipSpecialties.com, www.RelationshipSpecialties.com.

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