Is it normal for a man not to have sex or touch a woman in any way, not even skin contact, for over a year, and says he hardly ever masturbates? Also, is it normal for a man to watch live sex acts on a web cam and (maybe, I'm not sure) masturbate to that? I have been with my boyfriend for going on 7 years and only had sex maybe 10 times. None in over a year. He does have anxiety and depression. But even when we first started living together, he wouldn't touch me.

I suspect there are problems that are deeper than what is being discussed between the 2 of you. Please do contact a therapist in your area and see about discussing the concerns you have. It is hard to know exactly what is going on for him. - Answer provided by Alan L. Marcus, Ph.D., AASECT Certified, drmarcus@tmail.com, www.gpatherapy.com.

Your question seems twofold. Your words read "is it normal" but the focal point should probably be your concern for your needs not being met. This is most likely a very complex issue and I would respectfully suggest sex therapy with a board certified sex therapist in your area. Check listings under AASECT and ABS or on this web site. Beware of simple answers to very complex issues. - Answer provided by Tim Britton, Ph.D., AASECT, ABS, timbritton@yahoo.com.

What is "normal" is an ongoing and difficult question. What you describe suggests to me that there is something that requires professional attention. I am in no way buying into that it is all him. You got into this relationship with full knowledge, still you got into it. This suggests that at least some of what you describe is related to you. Regarding "watching live sex acts on the internet". I actually feel encouraged that sexuality remains a part of his life. The real question has to be - why is this sexual energy not directed towards me? This is a question that is not possible to address on the internet. I really urge you both to see a professional, someone who has experience in these matters. - Answer provided by Michael Gonzales, Ph.D., mfgonzal@speakeasy.net, www.upasoc.com.

It sounds to me like your boyfriend may be on an anti-anxiety or anti-depression medication. One of the side effects of these medications is a reduced libido (interest in sex). However, I don’t think this is the problem. I think your boyfriend is satisfying his sexual needs through the internet. This in and of itself is not a problem but becomes one because it interferes with his ability to be intimate with you. I suggest you talk to your boyfriend and request he stop watching live sex acts on the internet and focus on your relationship. You both would also benefit from visiting a therapist. - Answer provided by Jason S. Quintal, Ph.D., MSW, LCSW, DrJ@RelationshipSpecialties.com, www.RelationshipSpecialties.com.

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