I have been a church girl all these years. I have never had sex. I discovered a couple of weeks ago how to masturbate and it is great. I want the real thing also. Should I get a sex instructor for the first time? Do you know a gentle sex instructor that would be willing to let me explore their body and they can explore mine?

Congratulations on discovering your body and the pleasures you can derive from masturbation. In terms of a "sex instructor" there are only a handful of folks and they are called sex surrogates. I am not aware of any male sex surrogates so I cannot help you on that part. However, you could work with a certified sex therapist who could talk to you about ways you can enhance your sexual experiences including the use of sex toys and how to create opportunities for you to meet people who may then become a sexual partner for you. - Answer provided by Alan L. Marcus, Ph.D., AASECT Certified, drmarcus@tmail.com, www.gpatherapy.com.

Several studies indicate that the single most important ingredient for super sex is love. Hopefully your sexual connectedness, especially your first sexual intercourse experience would take place with someone you love and the sexual intimacy could enrich the closeness and make this a pleasant, memorable experience. I would be wary of anyone purporting to be a sex instructor and any legitimate therapist would refrain from physical contact with patients, much less sex play. I would respectfully suggest a brief consult with a therapist in your area to further explore this issue. - Answer provided by Tim Britton, Ph.D., AASECT, ABS, timbritton@yahoo.com.

I am not one who favors sex surrogates. I believe that sex is about communication. It is a way to let your partner know how you feel about him/her. Therefore a sex surrogate only adds to problems. Be patient and find the "right" person. Only then will you be able to find the "sex" that is right for you. - Answer provided by Michael Gonzales, Ph.D., mfgonzal@speakeasy.net, www.upasoc.com.

It is great you discovered how to masturbate and are learning to enjoy your own sexuality. Intercourse is different and it is important you are comfortable with the person before you engage in this experience. I don’t think it is necessary for you to get a sex instructor. There are wonderful videos you could purchase such as the Better Sex Video Series that will address those concerns. - Answer provided by Jason S. Quintal, Ph.D., MSW, LCSW, DrJ@RelationshipSpecialties.com, www.RelationshipSpecialties.com.

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