I'm a 26 year old woman who has never experienced an orgasm with a man unless he was performing oral sex on me. Actual penetration has never been enjoyable for me and most men I've been with get frustrated with me. Is there something wrong with me? What can I do so I can achieve orgasm during penetration rather than oral sex?

It is likely that you need direct stimulation of your clitoris in order to be orgasmic. This can be accomplished by the use of a vibrator or oral or manual stimulation, or any number of "sex toys". There are vibrators on the market that can provide good vibes for you while your lover's penis is still inserted in your vagina. Another option would be for you to find a lover who is comfortable with "my turn/your turn" lovemaking and is excited by and enjoys your orgasm no matter how this is brought about. In several recent studies, more than 50% of the female population is not orgasmic during "standard" sexual intercourse. Rest assured, your situation is quite common. - Answer provided by Tim Britton, Ph.D., AASECT, ABS, timbritton@yahoo.com.

If most women were honest they also would describe penetration as not enjoyable. In reality the vagina contains very few nerve endings and is not real susceptible to simulation. That does not mean that some women do not find it arousing, some clearly do. The point is, there is nothing wrong with you, you simply need different training. A woman in the situation you describe needs to train herself to "train" her partner in effective stimulation. The reality is that few women actually achieve orgasm through penetration alone. Typically there needs to be some sort of stimulation of the clitoris for orgasm to occur. - Answer provided by Michael Gonzales, Ph.D., mfgonzal@speakeasy.net, www.upasoc.com.

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