I have been separated for a year now with a divorce pending. Up until a month or so I did not masturbate. In the last three days I have masturbated for over 30 minutes and have not achieved orgasm. I'm very frustrated and my penis is getting very red from over use. Is it possible that I have desensitized my head?

The phrase "use it or lose it" is very appropriate in the situation you describe. The penis you is simply unused to stimulation and how to respond. In this type of situation I would urge the man to stimulate himself without the goal of ejaculation. The goal would simply be to re-arouse sexual feelings. The use of sexually explicit material is also worth considering.
- Answer provided by Michael Gonzales, Ph.D., mfgonzal@speakeasy.net, www.upasoc.com.

This is highly unlikely. Your most important sex organ is your brain. It most likely is crammed full of feelings, processes, and oughta-do's right now and has little time to process pleasure. A friend once described his divorce experience as being flushed down a gigantic toilet. I would suggest focusing on relaxing and pleasuring yourself in non-sexual ways and hopefully sexual feelings will present themselves and you can be responsive in a more relaxed, soothing manner. Be patient! - Answer provided by Tim Britton, Ph.D., AASECT, ABS, timbritton@yahoo.com.
 

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