I'm a 24 year old, engaged female who has never experienced an orgasm. I often worry that this will cause major problems in my married life as it can be very frustrating at times. I have been to a sex therapist and I have not seen any results. What more can I do?

Since you have consulted a sex therapist, I am assuming that you have already tried masturbation and perhaps relaxation exercises. If these did not help, there may be deeper issues you may need to address. You say that "it can be very frustrating at times". I am wondering who this is frustrating for, you or your partner. Orgasm is a physiological reflex which occurs when one's physical, psychological and emotional needs are being met; and it does not occur in the presence of anxiety. Therefore, when you become frustrated, the accompanying anxiety is counter-productive to you climaxing. Also, if this poses an issue for your partner, you really need to examine your relationship with him. A loving man will be supportive, not critical, of you. Perhaps you could also look at your beliefs surrounding sexual or women's issues. Did your family of origin speak negatively about sex (especially female sexuality)? If so, you could contact a sex therapist who does psychoanalysis, and together explore unconscious fears pertaining to your sexuality. Sex-positive workshops are also beneficial in obtaining support and learning new techniques. - Answer provided by Faizal Sahukhan, Ph.D., A.C.S., R.P.C., AASECT, drfaizal@multiculturalromance.com, www.multiculturalromance.com.

Get a book or a video on the female orgasm or masturbation. Experiment with various forms of masturbation and try to find a technique that pleases you. Many women enjoy vibrators and other sex aids which will allow you to pleasure yourself in a relaxed setting without having to be concerned about a partner. At some future time, your partner can be invited to watch or perhaps participate. Good success! - Answer provided by Tim Britton, Ph.D., AASECT, ABS, timbritton@yahoo.com.

Many women are experiencing the same thing as you are. I recommend you purchase a vibrator such as a Hitachi wand. Vibrators are wonderful tools to help you have an orgasm. Use the vibrator on your clitoris and vulva. You need to relax and learn your body and what feels pleasurable for you. Take the focus off having an orgasm and focus on the pleasure. - Answer provided by Jason S. Quintal, Ph.D., MSW, LCSW, DrJ@RelationshipSpecialties.com, www.RelationshipSpecialties.com.

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Becoming Orgasmic This powerful video uses detailed demonstrations to help women learn to achieve orgasm.	Becoming Orgasmic This book outlines a program to help women learn to achieve orgasm.

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