My husband and I have been together for over 3 years and the sex is great but for some reason ever since I had my son it has been hard for me to reach climax. Orally I can, but I can't during intercourse and if I do it takes forever. What can I do to help myself and what can he do to help me?

While you haven't said so, I will assume that you had a vaginal birth. Congratulations! Your concern about some differences in your sexual response is not uncommon after childbirth. Giving birth changes both the structure and the sensation in the vagina, but these should return to their previous states after time and some consistent Kegel exercises. Contracting and relaxing the muscles of the pelvic floor a few times a day, every day, should bring the vagina back into tone, You can even practice these exercises during intercourse as well, squeezing the penis with your PC (pubococcygeus) muscle while it is in the vagina. Not only is this highly arousing for most men, it is also arousing for some women, bringing more blood to the pelvic floor, resulting in more lubrication and more arousal. Also, finding a position in which your husband can stimulate your clitoris manually during intercourse may help. Good luck! - Answer provided by Linda Newharet Lotz, MSW, PhD, Swansong51@aol.com

What you are experiencing is not uncommon. Many women experience the same thing after childbirth. Your body needs time to heal and return to normal. I encourage you to continue to use oral stimulation. In addition, masturbation during intercourse or the use of a vibrator can help women achieve consistent orgasm. Give yourself time. - Answer provided by Jason S. Quintal, Ph.D., MSW, LCSW, DrJ@RelationshipSpecialties.com, www.RelationshipSpecialties.com.


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