Most men have trouble not lasting long enough with a woman. I have the other problem, lasting forever (over an hour and then having to give up). I have read many articles out there and the only information I can find is that it may be a psychological problem on my part. I am 18, so it should not be physical. Besides a psychological block, are there any other tips out there that will help me achieve orgasm quicker during sexual intercourse?

Believe it or not, your challenge is really not that uncommon. And there are some men who would die to have it. So, here is the real deal about ejaculation. It is not necessary to have a successful and wonderful encounter. That’s right!! When you let go of the need to cum, relax and enjoy the experience, you will be able to control when you do and when you don’t. There is a difference between ejaculation and orgasm. By relaxing and breathing properly, you can learn to be every woman’s dream and become an attentive and wonderful lover for yourself as well as for her. You can become a multi-orgasmic man – not a multi-ejaculating one. And when you lose your anxiety about “doing it right” and just flow with it and be in the moment, you will take charge of your powerful self. At 18, you are just beginning to discover your beautiful and powerful sexual energy and how it works and how it flows. Don’t fall into what you see on porn flicks or what you have been led to believe about yourself as a sexual being. Please take the time to read up on some of the concepts of sacred sexuality (Tantra) and all of the wonderful information out there that will make your sex life juicier than you can ever imagine. First assignment – The Multi-Orgasmic Man by Mantak Chia. It is written by a man for a man and easy to understand. - Answer provided by EveLynn Maurine, CSB, info@sacred-haven.org, www.sacred-haven.org, www.awakeningbody.com.

My first question to you is do you have the same difficulty achieving orgasm while masturbating or can you ejaculate quicker while masturbating? I recommend you stop masturbating. Typically the grip you use while masturbating is much firmer so you are unable to get enough pressure during intercourse. You need to retrain your body to be able to have an orgasm during intercourse. - Answer provided by Jason S. Quintal, Ph.D., MSW, LCSW, DrJ@RelationshipSpecialties.com, www.RelationshipSpecialties.com.

Before I answer your actual question, I wonder if this is a problem when you masturbate, also. If so, it lends support to the possibility that it is a physical problem. Seek the help of an urologist. I realize you’re only 18, however, even young people can have medical conditions that affect them sexually. If it isn’t a problem when you masturbate, it lends support to the idea that it’s psychological. Still, on a physical level, when you masturbate frequently, it tends to decrease sensitivity. The way you masturbate can also hamper you when you have intercourse; e.g., using a firm grip, concentrating on cumming. While you’re engaged in a sexual encounter, spend more time on arousal. The more excited you are at penetration, the more likely you are to come quickly. During intercourse, try keeping your mind off cumming and how long it’s taking you. Put it instead on the sensations you are experiencing. Pay attention to how it feels to be inside her. Notice the sensations that flood your body. Allow your PC muscle (the one you use when you’re holding back urination) to be relaxed. Keep your breathing deep and slow. - Answer provided by Jenny Friend, MFT, Board Certified Clinical Sexologist, JennyFriendMFT@sbcglobal.net, www.CenterForClarity.org.


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