Up until recently I've never had an orgasm (self-induced or otherwise) although I've tried many times. Recently I've gotten past that wall because I worked through my problem myself, but now, right before and when I orgasm, I shut my eyes tightly and hold my breath, and I really can't stop myself. My boyfriend often has to remind me to breathe, and even then, I can only take a quick breath in. Afterwards, my head feels heavy and hurts often, my ears feel as if they need to be popped but they won't, and I feel nauseous. I can't orgasm if I don't do this, what's wrong?

I think what is happening is that when you hold your breath you are holding the energy back. It’s because you fear that you will leave your body when you have that beautiful release – or it might be that you feel you will cry out or laugh – which is also wonderful. You are, in other words, blocking the energy from moving through and out into the universe. Tell him to keep reminding you to open your eyes and connect with his, and to open your mouth and give the breath sound as you exhale. For some reason, you have learned to contain the orgasm for fear of losing it. Let it flow. Also you don't mention if you are having intercourse or how you are achieving your release. Most of us girls have been taught to hurry up and have it and we force it rather than letting it flow freely and slowing. Try this, ask your boyfriend to help you with this. Ask him to be the giver and to give you a wonderful massage and include yoni (pussy) massage with it. And practice breathing slowly and gently moving the energy up into your whole body. He can use one hand to gently manipulate – without “trying” to make you cum and allow you to get used to just feeling good and breathing. I recommend some wonderful videos out there that my couples use at home to learn to give to each other and help each other through the tough spots. - Answer provided by EveLynn Maurine, CSB, info@sacred-haven.org, www.sacred-haven.org, www.awakeningbody.com.

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