I'm 30 and have two kids. My marriage is strained because I just don't have any interest in sex. It hurts my husband because I'd much rather sleep. When we do have sex I just want it to hurry up and be over. Personally I think helping with the kids and around the house would be like foreplay but he thinks that's crazy. After a day at home with kids the last thing I want to deal with is someone else wanting something from me. Is there something wrong with me physically? How can I get help so that we can get back to the healthy, satisfying sex like we once had?

Your suggestion to him about helping with the kids as a means of foreplay speaks volumes. What I suspect is that you're pretty wiped out, energy wise, from dealing with the kids so there isn't much left for sex. I also wonder if you are feeling some resentment towards him for not doing as much as you would like. I would suggest you tell him that you really need him to help out as you're feeling drained. Let him know you would really appreciate his help and how it would enable you to have some energy left for your sex life which you miss. I would not call child care foreplay....but it certainly does make sense why you would have put the two together. - Answer provided by Alan L. Marcus, Ph.D., AASECT Certified, drmarcus@tmail.com, www.gpatherapy.com.

Why does he think that’s crazy (“helping with the kids …”)? I often tell men this in my practice. What’s wrong with you physically, could very easily be fatigue. Maybe the help you need is a part-time sitter or someone to come in. There could be other things affecting you, of course. Is one of your children newly born? Do you feel down a lot? Has there been a change in your menstrual cycle? Have you had a check up recently? - Answer provided by Jenny Friend, MFT, JennyFriendMFT@sbcglobal.net, www.CenterForClarity.org.

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