I have been dating my boyfriend for a while. I have always prided myself on being a great lover. My problem is that he does some wonderful things in bed (tricks if you will) and I feel a little out of my league. I am wondering if there are any tips or advice to stimulate him more. On the average he will make me orgasm 4-5 times which is great. I would like to surprise him with something.

A blindfold is a cheap trick on so many levels. Not only is it an inexpensive item--you can get a sleep mask at the drugstore for about $5--but it literally tricks the senses. By shutting out your boyfriend's sense of sight, you heighten his sense of touch. You can also go to another level by tying him up with crepe paper--a safe and sane way to go beyond vanilla sex. I'd also recommend tantra, though, if you want to use love-making to deepen the emotional connection that you have; that's the biggest turn-on for a lot of people. - Answer provided by Stephanie Buehler, PsyD, Psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist, drbuehler@cox.net, www.thebuehlerinstitute.com.

I have a few questions for you to get you to think and help you address your question.
Why are his "tricks" a problem for you? Are you able to enjoy them? Has he complained that he is not being stimulated enough or that he is perhaps bored? I get a feeling that you want to compete with him instead of enjoying the adventure. Or perhaps he feels he has to compete with you? However, if you want to surprise him I would suggest to do some search on various sexual games, since only you know what you have tried and what not and what would be interesting to you. - Answer provided by Bita Sharifzadeh, M.Ps., Clinical Psychologist,
bita@bita-psychologist.com, www.bita-psychologist.com.

The biggest thing that I can say about this is, ask him. If he is as open as he appears in this letter, then your asking will be a turn-on and might open new doors. - Answer provided by Michael Gonzales, Ph.D., mfgonzal@speakeasy.net, www.upasoc.com.

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