I'm 18 and I've been sexually active for a year now. I've only had one partner. Unfortunately I don't feel any pleasure from vaginal intercourse. I just feel him inside of me and that's about it. It's really disappointing to me because I feel abnormal even though it's normal for most women. Is this something that could change with a change of partner or am I just doomed with a bad sex life. I do feel stimulation to my clitoris and I can orgasm from it. It just seems that everyone else I know has been normal and I'm not.

Normal is very difficult to determine. You should be able to experience pleasure, though not always orgasm through intercourse. You can train yourself to feel pleasure through intercourse, though it does take commitment. It could change with a change of partner, though it may not. The issue is not the partner it is with you. With training and commitment this can certainly be different. - Answer provided by Michael Gonzales, Ph.D., mfgonzal@speakeasy.net, www.upasoc.com.

First of all, celebrate that fact that you can have an orgasm, because not every woman learns how. Beyond that, it seems like everyone else you know is exaggerating and you're not! Only about 20% of all women have orgasm with intercourse, according to scientific research. So unless you have a group of girlfriends that all just happen to be part of that 20%, I would guess that some of them really don't know what an orgasm is! If you want to try to have a vaginal orgasm, you could practice doing Kegel exercises to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles. (Check with your gynecologist to make sure this is safe for you to do first.) Second, try different positions that give you more stimulation to the clitoris during intercourse. For example, a lot of women seem to like being on top because they can get pressure on the clitoris where they like it. But experiment, you may like something else better. Finally, it sounds like you need to let your partner know that you need more stimulation during intercourse. Don't just change partners--that isn't fair, and you might find yourself going through a lot of partners just to find one who gives you a vaginal orgasm. Have fun! Enjoy! - Answer provided by Stephanie Buehler, PsyD, Psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist, drbuehler@cox.net, www.thebuehlerinstitute.com.

First and foremost let me reassure you that only about 50 percent of women can achieve orgasm through intercourse alone. The fact that you do achieve orgasm via clitoral stimulation is a good thing. You state that you don't really experience any pleasure having your boyfriend's penis inside of you. I assume that there are no medical issues (i.e. scar tissue from trauma, etc.) that would reduce sensitivity vaginally. What I would suggest is the following: 1) do kegel exercises to work on being able to increase tightness during intercourse; 2) try different positions to see if that changes the feelings you have during intercourse; 3) try having intercourse after you reach orgasm since there is heightened sensitivity at that time. Hope this helps. - Answer provided by Alan L. Marcus, Ph.D., AASECT Certified, drmarcus@tmail.com, www.gpatherapy.com.

I am so glad you asked this question now so you don’t have to spend one more day thinking you are “abnormal”. The fact is only about one-third of women experience orgasm during penetration. So that means you are one of the two-thirds that don’t (the majority!!). Clitoral orgasms are the most common because the clitoris is made up of loads of erectile tissue, muscle tissue and bundles of nerve endings that all contribute to orgasmic muscle spasms. And the clitoris has only one function--pleasure! The vagina, on the other hand, has a considerably lower amount of nerve endings. Three areas of the vagina that, when stimulated, can lead to orgasm is the G-spot (located halfway between the pubic bone and the cervix), the cervix and the anterior vaginal wall. Some hints: (1) Clitoral stimulation during penetration is the key to orgasm. Either you or your partner can manually stimulate your clitoris during intercourse or use a vibrator. Try different positions that put more pressure on the clitoris. Try being on top which will allow you more control. (2) Make sure you have plenty of ‘coreplay’ before penetration. It takes some time for a woman to get heated up—for some 20 minutes or longer. (3) To help locate the G-spot and get clitoral stimulation, lie on your back and tilt your pelvis upward (try using some pillows) so that your vulva presses flat against your partner’s pelvic bone. Finally, relax and remember that your sexuality is a part of you that grows and develops over time. As you become more confident in yourself as a woman you will become more confident as a sexual being. You are just beginning on the road…enjoy the journey! - Answer provided by Lynne Santiago, LMHC, lynne@lynnesantiagolmhc.com, www.lynnesantiagolmhc.com.

That makes you just normal and like many other women. For many women having clitoral orgasm is easier than vaginal. That is absolutely normal and no reason to worry. What you want to do is to engage (either yourself or ask your partner) in clitoral stimulation while having intercourse. - Answer provided by Bita Sharifzadeh, M.Ps., Clinical Psychologist, bita@bita-psychologist.com, www.bita-psychologist.com.

It sounds like you are confusing 'normal' with 'pleasurable,' and that's a dead end. Your pleasure in sex is entirely unique and has nothing at all to do with what your friends are experiencing or what you imagine to be 'normal.' Many (perhaps most) women do not orgasm in intercourse, but they require stimulation of the clitoris in order to achieve orgasm. It seems that you don't have a 'bad sex life' but a lack of information as to how to integrate your need for clitoral contact with intercourse. I would suggest a very comprehensive and fun book, 'The Guide to Getting It On,' by Paul Joannides. You will definitely be able to find more pleasure in sex with some of the ideas in this very useful book. - Answer provided by Linda Newhart Lotz, MSW, PhD, Swansong51@aol.com

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